We all admire a headstrong, independent go-getter—someone who tackles challenges, with ambition, high effort, and positivity, turning dreams into reality. Don’t we all?
A person with a combination of these qualities attracts us all. We love a woman with ambition, don’t we? But do we have the will to stand by the principles and attributes that got her to where she is today? We all admire a high-achieving, unique personality, someone kind and loving. But do we have the strength to accept their whole personality and not just the parts we like over time?
Do we have the patience and will to embrace the qualities that made the person who they are today—not just the highlights, but also the behind-the-scenes struggles that built them? It takes a village and continuous learning for one person’s growth.
My blog focuses on women and their independence.
When I or any of my girlfriends—my community that I’ve interacted with—achieve success, like everyone else, that visible achievement comes with the blood, sweat, and tears of not just ourselves, but also our ancestors who fought for our freedom, the community of fearless women who voiced for our rights, our immediate families with their immense support, and all our loved ones. But this is just a glimpse of the individuals involved in this process.
There are also high-quality characteristics and attributes attached to these people that make them so special. These are the traits we need to learn or develop over time to keep our relationships happy and ever-growing with our partners.
The community I just described contributes in various ways—one thing or multiple attributes. Just like a flower needs the support of various elements from nature—the sun, wind, water, air, the right temperature, seasonal changes—humans need various attributes to foster their growth.
This support doesn’t come from just one person. Don’t get me wrong, no one is the supreme lord, but maybe we can offer one thing or a combination of things. And even if we can’t, we should acknowledge that a combination of these factors made them who they are today. Just respect it—don’t fight it or deny its existence.
Qualities like relentless patience, belief in hard work, consistent emotional and financial support, faith in the right timing, pep talks, a shoulder to cry on, people to celebrate the highs, prayers, blessings, good energy, freedom to choose and to be different from societal expectations, not boxing their creativity, their passion, their discipline, and relentless effort.
The passion and ambition you admire today weren’t built in a day or by following a normal routine. Exceptional human beings or exceptional achievements require exceptional effort, which looks different for each individual.
For example, for some, it’s staying in the library until 2 am, waking up at 5 am, consistently hitting the gym, going on multiple work trips, relentless effort coupled with surrender to their work, sacrificing ‘good days,’ ‘family time,’ ‘festival time,’ leaving the place where they grew up, and adopting a whole new life. Sometimes they were labelled as rebels, ahead of their time, breaking societal norms, the first in their family or generation to attend university in a different city or abroad, the first female in the family to attain financial independence, the first in the lineage to attend school, staying out ‘late’ to make their dreams come true, the first in the family to go on work trips.
That smile they hold today is the result of this village working together, their immense faith and belief in that person. Literally giving her wings to fly, the power to question ‘why’ and not just follow the norm, having the grit to be different. It’s all fancy to hear about being exceptional and unique, but it also means doing something very different from the norm. Having the patience to deal with situations when they don’t go in your Favor, standing up in front of society for your loved one and their choices because you believe in them, not waiting for acknowledgment from the masses. By definition, exceptional means ‘unusual and not typical,’ and unique means ‘being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else.’ This can involve fighting against societal expectations, which might make certain people in your life unhappy with your choices. It comes as a package.
In conclusion, it takes a very big heart to love someone with big dreams—to accept all of them, including the history that made them who they are today. Every successful story carries the blood, sweat, and tears of not just of the individual, but of the village that built them. When you respect them, their work ethic, and their life choices moving forward, you also respect their village and its efforts.
It’s easy to try to change or nudge people to adjust their attitude toward life in some aspects, but they’re not really changing—they’re accommodating you, suppressing what they want, for love. But one day, this will build up, and the pot will overflow. They’ll carry anger, built little by little, with each suppressed act. This causes major fights, breakups, and relationships falling apart.
Love is definitely important, but respect and trust are on its either side, helping it grow for a lifetime. Don’t cage a person whose wings you fell in love with. If you love a butterfly or a bird, you want to see its beautiful colours fluttering in the garden. But if you cage it for your convenience, to see it closer or have a sense of control, the bird or butterfly will lose its essence.
If you love someone, let them be free, and let them choose to come back to you every single day of your life. We are indeed complete individuals within ourselves, but we need companions to accompany us, to see us for who we are, to love us as we are, to acknowledge our roots, and to celebrate all of us—not to pick and choose the parts they like or an idea of who they fell in love with.
Thank you, that’s all from me today. See you in the next blog! Until then, show your love in the comments—I read every single one, and they bring immense joy to me.
